Resemble (Random)

9:00 in the morning, why the hell did she ask for me to come out here? I'm still shaken up from yesterday and she wants to talk.  She's late too.  Not even a message saying "I'll be there soon".

"Did you wait long?" I turned around, she stood there with a distraught look on her face.  I shouldn't be mad at her.  I should've known, somehow.  Resembles look like the real thing, feel like the real thing.

"N-no, just a few minutes" I said.  She diverted her eyes, her glance directed mine towards her now fixed Resemble.  I still saw a ragged mess of wire and metal that was left of her arm from just yesterday

"Can I sit down?" I was taking up most of the bench, I moved over and she sat next to me.  Her Resemble side away from me.

"What did you want to talk about" I said, gambling that she wouldn't get upset with me.  She didn't look at me, instead she rested her head on my shoulder.  I rested my arm on the back of the park bench, best if I didn't touch her on that side.

"Take a guess"

"You have Resemble" I said.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I heard on the news"

"I don't care what the news says, I asked for your opinion" she got tense.

"I... don't know for certain" I said, unsure of what to say.

"Is it so bad that we make ourselves this way? Should we be looked down on for our decision?" She looked up at me, I could tell now.  Resemble was in her eyes as well, twisting and focusing on me like two little cameras.

"Without this I would be different, very different.  Like laying lifeless in my room, thinking of how that accident destroyed my life kind of different.  We would've never met if it wasn't for Resemble" She said, the end emphasized and her Resemble hand held to me.

"So you could never have lived again if it weren't for this?" I said.

"Does that make me a weak person then? That I have to lean on science to make living worthwhile?  If I didn't have this yesterday, I would be dead right now.  I would have died saving you" Her voice got loud and she leaned away from me.

"Say I didn't have Resemble, I would have either been dead or been given Resemble to save my life.  I could lie on the ground where I landed, bleeding to death.  Or a hospital bed dying.  How would you feel if that were the case? So what I have Resemble, is it that big a deal?" She put her hand over mine looking me dead in the eyes.

People with Resemble have it because they want to look normal again, to feel normal again..They don't want to walk down the street having people look at them.  Watch them live from wheelchairs or with missing limbs or eye patches or even speech impediments.  Resemble fixes all that.  If I had met her without them would I feel the same way about her? I hadn't said anything, her eyes started to well up with tears.

"Well!?" she said, pressing the question.

"How would you feel knowing that I put myself in harms way to protect you, knowing you could've been be hurt or killed?" She clenched my hand tight, trembling.

"It should have been me!  To think that you would do something like that for me, of all people.  I'm not worth your time or effort for saving" My voice cracked just a little "I thought you were dead on impact, I heard your body crumble and your arm spiral away" My chest collapsed, It felt like metric tons were weighing on my shoulders.  I trembled along with her.

"I started thinking of why I asked you out, who was I to take that opportunity away from someone better suited for you.  If I had kept my mouth shut you would still be in one piece right now, with someone better than me.  I'm such a selfish fuck!" My breathing became short and rapid, face was hot and my palms drenched in sweat, thousands of thoughts and feelings had broken through me like a blown out river dam.

"You're such a thoughtless asshole!" she said "Didn't ever cross your mind why I might do something like that for you because I wanted to?" I couldn't be possible.  Someone like her feeling that way about me? Nobody has ever felt that way about me, and I'm supposed to just believe it now? She still held my hand, though instead of being tight and assertive.  It was kind, gentle.  Appealing even.

I've never felt this before in my entire life.  What do I do? Will she say what I think she's gonna say? Is that even possible? As far as I was concerned the possibility of this moment ever happening died in me a long time ago.  What about me?  Do I even have it in me to think about someone else like that? asking her out in the first place was an accident, I didn't even think she would accept like she did.  Surprised and excited.  Is the ability to feel like that even in my DNA?  This can't be real, this can't be real, this can't.

Be real.

Combat academy Part 1 (*Random)

Combining robots, I wish something like that were possible. A collection of various vehicles forming around a single robot to create an even bigger robot.  The unfortunate truth of the matter is that its just not practical.  Weight/balance/mobility are key to a machines assets. I would know, as a pilot in training that these elements can make a difference between victory and defeat.

What, am I reciting stuff for an exam or something? I'm already late to class, Its my first day even. Not so much for a first impression, unless my impression is 'fashionably late' which its not.  At least the academy is in view now.

I park my truck and shuffle down the white and silver hallway to my first class 'close quarters combat' I open the door and like a tidal wave every head in class is staring at me.

"You're late, Mr..." The teacher said, somewhat upset.

"Wheeler, Marcus. I'm sorry for being tardy sir"

"Just shut it and take a seat" he said.  I found an empty chair close to the window, the girl next to me had the same blue and red BDU on as I did, which meant she was in the armored division.  She had long black hair with a green tint to it tied into a low ponytail. I also couldn't help but notice her whole left arm was wrapped in bandages, not a single bit of skin was showing.  Whatever, I need to focus.

Class ended soon after I sat down, the girl next to me looked at me like I had done something impressive.

"You've got guts walking into his class lake like that, he likes to douche on everyone who disrupts class" She said.

"Its not like I did it on purpose, didn't get into town till four last night.  Doesn't leave much time for sleep" I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

"So where were you shipped in from? Desert, Forrest?" We in the combat don't like to name names so we keep things simple.

"Tundra actually" I said.

"Is that so? how's the heat and humidity getting to you here?" She pulled at her uniform, the humid air made everything a little damp.

"Honestly, I'm liking it" It wasn't a complete truth but I couldn't go back on it now.

"Can't say the feeling is mutual. I'm Vela by the way, Vela Maxwell" She gestured to the girl in front of her, she was wearing a tan and black BDU, Ninja division.

"This is my friend **Whisper, ND" Whisper waved at me. She had dark brown hair and red eyes, though to be fair, everyone in ND had red eyes, and none of them went by their real names. Whisper didn't come off as a ninja, she was rather small and seemed like she would have a better chance of being in the Communications division.

"So what's your next class Marcus? Field testing?" It was in fact, I would feel better if she had that class too. "I do actually" I said. "Then we'll go together" While she was nice it seemed strange, almost a little too nice. Our division, while peaceful among'st ourselves we often get heated in the field, A little more than 'friendly competition' and I still don't know what the deal is with her arm.  I keep my guard up while we walk and Whisper disappears some point while we're chatting.

We get outside and I find I don't like the humidity all that much, while better than 60 below 0 its still very uncomfortable, at least I stayed dry in the Tundra.  We enter the abnormal vehicle hangar.  If things went as they should've my mech should be here.  We approach a desk where terminals are placed. I enter my student ID.

"Hangar 35" I said, thinking out loud."

"I'm in 30" Vela said. We hop in a shuttle and move down the aisles. While most of the doors were shut, I did get a glimpse of a few of the abnormal vehicles.  Not too many mechs from what I could see, the ones I did get a look at weren't much too impressive. Vela stops in front of her hangar, the doors closed.

"See you on the playing field" she said, leaving the shuttle. I watch her until she out of sight. I see her reach for her bandaged arm before she's gone.  I stop in front of 35 and enter.  I'm relieved to find my GGX13 waiting for me. I had it repainted before it arrived, its signature dark green and black. I liked to call him The Highwayman.  It sounds better than the model name.  While not too much too look at on the outside, its innards are what makes it stand out.

*While random now, it might become a new series. Just saying.
**Name subject to change (If I deem necessary)
BDU (Battle dress uniform) color determines division

Character work

I can't bring myself to write a story at the moment so I'll do the next best thing, I'll talk a little about a character.

Name: Boomstick (possible name)
The name is still in development phase until I find something more meaningful in my own mind.  Something that expresses the character a little more.

Talent: Explosives/Pyrotechnitian
In the story the act of arson/explosives/pyrotech and the like are taken as a very serious taboo.  Arsonists and explosives experts often become obsessed in their 'art' and work tirelessly to make masterpiece after another.  If not controlled properly they can eventually destroy themselves in their own work by getting closer and closer to the 'beauty of it'.  Which is what eventually happens to my character.  Though her demise hasn't been specifically created for the main plot (though I do have ideas)

Weapons: Double barrel grenade launcher, various kinds of things that go boom.
Much like a watchmaker she is spiritually involved in her work, to the very last intimate detail.  Making various forms of explosives for each situation she comes across.  Ranging from explosive darts, coins, jewelry, perfume. To ammunition for various firearms (usually when requested).  Her weapon for frontline combat is a double barreled grenade launcher designed from scratch by her fellow partner Ratchet, who made the gun from spare Grinder parts (A Grinder is a piloted robot). While durable and fully capable the weapon is somewhat heavier than its production counterparts.  But she appreciates the extra weight, as if she's bearing a punishment for the path she's taken in life. Though that's just speculation.  Pyrolagnia is etched into the side.

Features: In the 5 foot range.  Gunmetal grey hair, long and silky that falls to her lower back.  Orange eyes that reflect her affection for fire.  Striking figure (though usually lost due to her height being the attention hog so most of her shoes have height inserts to make her seem taller).  Red glasses with missing lenses, loupe magnifying lenses are attached instead.  She wears an armored grey apron for working and combat, hidden behind it is many of her explosives.  Her normal attire sports a more casual apron

Personality:
Along with being obsessive compulsive over her work, she is ignorant, stubborn, selfish, and intolerant.  Her passion is her work and a very few things can match up to what she does.  The only people she can bond with is Ratchet, Kata the group leader is a far second only because she is the one who gives her art an audience (whether they appreciate it or not doesn't matter to her) as long as she has an objective she'll see it through to the end, after that she's back to her work.  Since she is usually busy with crafting art, she rarely leaves the Carrier her and the crew live on.  Somebody usually has to take her food to her and watch her eat it or she'll forget and it'll spoil.

Other:
Like any good bomb maker she's been involved in her fair share of accidental explosions.  Some fingers on her right hand are cybernetic while her whole left hand up to her mid forearm is a complete replacement.  Honestly the replacement made her a more proficient crafter, and therefore only served to dig her deeper into her passion (obsession is more like it).  She also bears a jagged scar from her jaw past her ear, though it has been cleaned up and is less noticeable from far away.  By the way, 'pyrophilia' think about that for a moment.

That's everything I've scrounged together for this character at this point, I'm always working on improving her.  Even though she's not relevant to the main timeline she's still needs to be put together to make her more acceptable.

Monotony

Alright.  So I have school starting up again.  Going into my next part of Psychology and honestly, this has been the thing I've been looking most forward to since december.  I got out of my first Psych class and felt pretty good about it, I wanted to take the next class. I held it off cause my teacher wasn't teaching it till late this year, so I passed the time with my imaginative writing class.  Which took a dump on me, out of all the classes I wanted, it was one of the worst.

At this point though, other than taking the class to better myself I'm taking classes to keep the monotony of my life from destroying me. Since my last class got out I've done pretty much the same thing every week.

Monday: work
Tuesday: time with friends
Wednesday: work
Thursday: day off (do a few chores and errands, but usually do nothing)
Friday: work
Saturday: work
Sunday: Skip classes at church and do nothing

I need school to break this up a little. Cause if there is one thing I refuse to let happen, its to care about work and its cache of issues.

When you work at a job where the customers who come in don't want to be there, and we later ask then how there visit was, they're going to dump all their crap on us.  We get rated every week for performance and the past few reports have tanked, I refuse to let this be my priority in life, to try and fix this problem (among others) cause in the long run... it means almost nothing.  Giving upset people an audience never fares well.

I'm not saying we're bad at our jobs. I'm out there in the midst of it and I know for a fact we're doing our jobs just fine.

sorry about the rant.

I'm just saying that I can't keep going like this having nothing to do all the time.  School is important to me and if I could swing it I would go full-time school part-time work, cause work is so stressful a kind of stressful that's unhealthy.  I would rather stress about school cause that leads somewhere eventually.

Some of you might say I should go on dates and the like.  At this point in my life, I don't want to.  My honest opinion of people and society in general right now is pretty low, and to think of seeking these people out for dates and such seems counter productive.  I don't find things of that nature very intriguing at the moment.  All the positive things are out weighed by the negative.

The primary focus of my life right now is to continue school and to continue writing.  To work towards a tomorrow that actually looks exciting. If things happen to change later on I'll deal with it as it comes but as of now I'm not expecting anything.

Brainstorming

I was just sitting at home watching movies when I started brainstorming.

I was watching Terminator Salvation and started thinking of transformers.  I'm just leaving what I came up with here. That's all

Decepticon
Name: Madness

Decepticon
Name: Tragedy

Decepticon

Name: Spikestrip

The present (Transformers Fan-fiction)

Cybertron, how long has it been since I last sped along your highways? Since I last had a good drink at Sprockets? nowadays its damn near impossible to keep our hands on energon at all.  At least I know we're not suffering alone.  All the Autobots on this planet are having a hard time.  Things here are circuit boards more complicated than necessary, us being here has done nothing but add fuel to the fire.

These freeways are less than sub-par, not that I can complain.  At least I can move about as I wish.  Stretch has to stay in that airplane boneyard where nobody can find him.  Having a form he can't hide with on this planet anymore is killing him.  All me and Sunder can do is keep him company.  Lucky for me the freeways out here are deserted most of the time, allowing me to drive as I want, or a more appropriate statement, 'need'

Flashing lights? Authorities, pesky earth cops.  He won't stand a chance of keeping up with me, I've mastered these roads.

{Highspool, can you hear me?} Sunder said by transmission.

"What is it Sundre?" I was less than happy to be interrupted by her.

{Atmospheric radiation has been detected in our region, keep your optics open for suspicious activity} its about time things got more active around here, its been months since we last saw Atocine.  I still owe him a good Lagann impact to the chest, the bastard came close to ripping my head off.  I'll make sure to rip his optics out when I'm through.

This cop is keeping up with me, I should've lost him by now.

"Sure, I'll keep watch of the freeway for any signs of an attack" It was more sarcastic than necessary.

{You don't have to be an ass, Sundre out} she worked hard to keep things running smooth, and all I do is bash her with my sharkticon shit.  I shouldn't be so hard on her.

That cop is right on top of me now, who is this guy? This is no earth cop, they've never acted like this before. The body of the car transformed.  Weapons exposed themselves, the shape of the car became more sinister.  A new Decepticon has made itself present.

Reapers Revolt

"Which hand is your dominant hand?" He asked me. "My right" I said, holding it out to him.  He took my left hand and placed a revolver in it.

"From here on out, we'll be training you to fire from your left hand.  Your dominant hand will be busy with other things during combat so we'll optimize your off hand by training you to shoot with it" I did as he said but my thoughts were less on target practice and more on my -or should I say, our current situation.  I thought about Kaitlyn and how she must feel right now, still unable to talk.  Still very much unhappy to be with me.  About a month ago we lost contact with Scott and Mercedes, its doubtful they're together at this point.  And I've had my hands full just trying to keep K with me, though I'm sure she knows things would be worse for her if she didn't stay with me.  Alone and unable to talk.  Though being with me she's still alone, regardless of how I may treat her.

"Jane, you need to learn to aim while using just your left arm, stretch it out and take down the targets" I took aim, and dropped the targets with little effort.

"I used to be a Ranger, my marksmanship is very good" I said, reloading the weapon.

"That might be the case, but you're about a tenth of what you used to be.  Strength, dexterity, agility are all reduced, so you must learn the way your body works at this point.  Try taking down the targets while they're moving" He flipped a switch and the targets moved around at astonishing speed.

"Red target" He said, I spotted the target and fired.  My first few shots missed but I managed to put the last two through it, not pretty hits but hits nonetheless.

"Reload and fire at the green and blue targets" He said.  I opened the cylinder and dumped the empty shells.  I had to put each individual round in, which cut into my speed.

"Faster, if those were the Holy Order you'd be dead by now!" The pressure was building.  I managed to finish and took down the targets with more sloppy hits.  He turned me around and went to slug me in the cheek.  I managed to overtake him, but he came around with a gut shot.  It had been awhile since I'd felt pain like that, I was winded.

"If this was combat you and your useless friend there would be dead, those around you would likely follow suit too due to your shitty abilities.  You need to learn that you're not that powerful anymore.  The opposite in fact.  We're more vulnerable to the Holy Order now than ever before, and look at us.  We're dealing more damage now than before" I struggled to breath, the pain was still overwhelming to me.  I looked at K, she wasn't interested in what was happening.  She just sat there, lost in thought.

"This revolver is screwing me up, I can't use it"

"Flexibility in combat is necessary, that revolver may be all you have left, if you can't use it your done for" He kicked the gun out of my hand and hiked it up to his own.  He opened the cylinder and slid in six rounds before I could blink.

"Your her bodyguard, act like it!" he pulled the trigger.

<->

I woke in a cold sweat, my sight darted around the room.  A room occupied by nothing but dark mahogany dressers and white light shining through open curtains.  It was morning, and I was safe.  Well, safer than most. I removed the sheets, my clothes were drenched in sweat.  I hopped in the shower.  As I tied my hair back into its regular ponytail I noticed a particular scent in the air.  Someone was cooking what smelled like breakfast.  I couldn't be K, she wouldn't be caught dead cooking, unless 'He' asked her to.  Pestilence would rather starve than cook so she was ruled out too.  Someone was in the house.

I thew a robe on and tightened it down, grabbed my revolver off the bed and made way to the kitchen with extreme caution.  The sound of shuffling cookery and a stronger smell of real food made my stomach creak in hunger.

"If you plug me full of lead you wont get any breakfast" a smooth voice called, I rounded the corner with my gun at the ready, my aim deflected by a kitchen knife.

"Looks like someone's not hungry" Famine said as he flipped a pancake.

"Famine! what are you doing here?" I said.

"I've been ordered to deliver a message to the three of you" Light footsteps came from the upstairs hallway.

"Hey, Blueberry, are you cooking something?" I hated that nickname.  Pestilence came downstairs wiping the sleep from her eyes.  Pest has been with us for about a month now making her way back to Death just as we've been.

"Huh? Famine is that you?" she said, somewhat un-surprised.

"Yes, now would you like some eggs and pancakes?" he gave his sinister grin while holding up a fresh batch of eggs.  Pestilence leaped to the table, almost drooling.

"Why don't you go wake up the Princess Jane, she'll want to be here" Kaitlyn was still in bed, not like she had much reason to get out every morning.  She hadn't seen Death in over a year, her reason for living was so far away.

"And put some clothes on while your at it" Famine said.  I had forgotten I was pretty much naked except for my robe.  I threw on a dress shirt and some shorts from the closet before going to K's room.

"K? you awake yet?" I heard faint coughing, I opened her door and knew she was having a coughing fit like she always did if she said anything.  I saw her hit the bathroom floor, some blood met the tile where she lie.

"K! you alright?" It was clear she wasn't, but what else could I say? I went to help her up and she shoved me away.  She was in control of her fit now, she wiped her face and looked at me as if to say "what do you want?"

"You need to come downstairs, Famine is here" her eyes lit up, she rushed past me, and I followed.  Famine had the table all set with everything a breakfast could ever include.  Eggs, sausage, bacon, pancakes in a few varieties.  Milk, OJ and toast.

"Enjoy, I'm sure the three of you haven't had something this good in a while" Famine said.  The three of us, while curious as to why he was here were more interested in eating at the moment.  K though, wanted to hear the news.  Famine insisted she eat some first, she groaned, and scooped some eggs to her plate.

The vague status update

We've seen it before, the one status that sounds a little like this.

"I'm so frustrated right now"

"Well that could've gone better"

"Doctor said it could be bad"

These are just a few (poor) examples that are seen across all forms of social media.  Facebook and twitter are probably the places where they show up the most (for me at least)

But I have a question.

"Why?"

Why post such a vague comment that can be so misconstrued?

Is it for sympathy? would that even be a valid use for posting a vague status update? In my opinion thats what I believe to be a major reason.  think about it, something has happened in your life and you need someone to give you support, you're not in a particular position to 'have a shoulder to cry on' so you post a vague status to use as bait, to sucker people into a position of wanting to help and support you.  We've seen these comments before.

"Is everything ok? just want you to know I'm thinking of you"

"I'm sorry, things will get better"

The thing I find unusual about this is that, on these social media sites.  The only people who see these updates are people you can trust right? These people are your friends, here to help you through pretty much anything right? So why post something to your friends thats vague and can be interpreted in many different ways?

By posting a vague status update you are receiving a false sense of sympathy, you didn't earn it through being honest, you said something that makes your life sound crappy.  Don't do this for your sake and for the sake of the people you care about, its rude and inappropriate.  If your posting about something that shouldn't be posted, then don't.  If it doesn't need to be seen by certain people then refrain from posting.

Personal matters belong with the people involved.  Unless you intend to be clear about whats going on.

"I just got fired, it was kinda my fault though"

"I broke up with my girlfriend, we just weren't that compatible"

These are examples of expressing how you feel while being clear at the same time.

Please, for the sake of your friendships/relationships stop with the vague comments, they're empty feelings.

Her hair...

Steam/Smoke

I thought this was supposed to be a happy ending, the siblings me and this Huntress have protected from werewolves, a dragon made of stoves, pans, clockwork and steam their witch of a stepmother created.  A witch of the most lethal intent.
Have I gone and shown how much of a fool I am? The youngest son of a blacksmith who can’t even help these children when they need me the most.  We reached Scarborough, the city that moves across the land, where their grandmother lives.  Just to have our journey end with their father and a king in our midst.
“Son, daughter.  Please come back home with me, your stepmother and I were worried sick” The father plead.  The siblings hid behind me and the Huntress.  Her black smoke rifle steady in her hands but not in a position to make issue.  I looked at the son, the trials we had overcome, his sister right beside him the whole way.  Me and the Huntress experiencing an adventure of strength and determination.  We became so close we could be considered a family by passerby.  The look in the son’s eyes was genuine, he would never go back.
“It would seem they’re pretty determined to leave you behind, they wish to live with their grandmother” the Huntress said causing the king to chuckle among us, his men confused.
“My children will not find their grandmother inside those walls, for she has proceeded to the next life some time ago” a carriage approached from behind the father and the king.  Out stepped a woman of genuine discomfort and unease, it was to my belief from the feeling I had and the trembling hands of the siblings, this was the stepmother they spoke of.  A witch capable of creating monsters that attack children.  A vile woman shelled in a beauty a fool would want.  The father seemed to be of good nature but a man of poor choice in love.  For if this is what he decides is a true love he is more blind than those who walk without sight.
I know not what I should do at this moment, my heart wants the siblings to have true happiness, but with their grandmother gone all our work falls on empty hope.  But a hand reaches to me.  The Huntress wishes for my attention.  The look in her eyes is all I need to know what our next option is.
“Then me and this huntress will take the children in, to care for and train”
“That’s absurd” the stepmother said “My king, of our many kings.  Please order your incompetent soldier to know his place” her slithering voice made the blood in my arms boil, my white steam rifle itching to meet her.  The king chuckled once more.
“It is clear these children are aware of an immediate threat within their own home, and wish to retreat.  My Soldier and this Huntress wish for the better of these children, which is in his right as a soldier of our country.  If he wishes this responsibility I will allow it” Everyone looked in surprise and silence to the kings words.  The father most surprised, his eyes must have been opened to a potential sight he was ignorant to.  Stepmother was upset in many degrees.
“My king, surely you see the predicament we face.  These children belong to my husband and me, not to these foolish heathens” Stepmother wished to cause these siblings harm by her hand, a witch through and through.  My heart filled with anger towards her, and the displeasure she had towards these children.
“If you wish to take your children back, than as king I demand a duel between the parents and the surrogates.  A duel to the death if necessary” I knew this king could be outrageous at times but this is a whole new level.  The father was no warrior, his knees buckled, the stepmother however had already started a spell, spirals of red magic swirling around her.  The Huntress moved the siblings out of danger and took spot in shadow to prepare her black smoke rifle.
Is this right? Is this still beneficial for the siblings? I look at the eldest brother, young but a heart so strong, nothing would break it.  He knew what had to be done as did his sister, she had a heart of radiant warmth capable of healing.  Their father would live and they knew it.  He would have to live with the choice he made.  I knew then, I had to take care of them. Me and the Huntress would.
It was decided, If I could, I will make the stepmother submit.  Allowing her to live so as to keep the siblings from seeing her death, I held confidence the Huntress felt the same way.  She had a lover who was turned into a werewolf whom she ended with her own hand during our journey.  Had she become a true love of mine? Time will tell.  In this moment we would fight to protect the siblings once again from their wicked stepmother.  Her magic a weapon against us.  My white steam rifle a weapon against her, along with Huntress’ black smoke rifle.  The two of us together will wrestle her into defeat.  We just want a chance for the siblings, our children, to live happily ever after.


Steam (POV change)
Smoke
All this work we have done.  All for nothing.  Fighting the true love of mine who had turned to the ways of the werewolf.  Ended by my own hand.  A dragon made from cookery and clocks defeated by the youngest son of a blacksmith, now a soldier beside me.  A bit of a fool, but a heart capable of moving mountains.  If it meant that our Siblings could live happily ever after he would do it too.
Their father, a foolish coward of a man.  Stands before us now, with a king in tow.  This king knew me well.  Being a former member of his elite guard I ventured off to become a Huntress and to make a new life with my true love.  Once he disappeared I had no choice but to go after him meeting the Soldier and the Siblings along the way.  They spoke of the city Scarborough, a moving city.  A place I had longed to see since I was a child.  Now that we were here their father had caught up with us.
“Son, daughter.  Please come back home with me, your stepmother and I were worried sick” He said through genuine fear for their condition.  They moved not an inch from us.
“It would seem they’re pretty determined to leave you behind, they wish to live with their grandmother” I said, stating the wish they had from the beginning.
“My children will not find their grandmother inside those walls, for she has proceeded to the next life some time ago” Grandmother is gone? And he never told them.  A true coward to the marrow in his bones.  A stagecoach appeared and a woman appeared.  The clothing gave her away, A witch, a powerful one at that.  I would enjoy defeating her.  My black smoke rifle was not ready to fire but that’ll change soon enough.  I touched the Soldier, gave him a look that said we could take care of the Siblings by ourselves.  I didn’t know how, but I knew we could do it, we’ve come this far, we can keep going.
“Then me and this huntress will take the children in, to care for and train” the Soldier said, with as much courage as he could muster.
“That’s absurd” the stepmother said “My king, of our many kings.  Please order your incompetent soldier to know his place” She was making my hands tremble in excitement I’ve never fought a witch before.
“It is clear these children are aware of an immediate threat within their own home, and wish to retreat.  My Soldier and this Huntress wish for the better of these children, which is in his right as a soldier of our country.  If he wishes this responsibility I will allow it” the king chuckled
“My king, surely you see the predicament we face.  These children belong to my husband and me, not to these foolish heathens” the Stepmother said, sneering at the king.
“If you wish to take your children back, than as king I demand a duel between the parents and the surrogates.  A duel to the death if necessary” it was time.  The father dropped to his knees as he should, the Stepmother started a spell.  I escorted the Siblings to a safe spot before hiding in the shadows.  I readied my black smoke rifle.  This is right, defeating the Stepmother will ensure the Siblings a happy life.  But the Soldier seems unsure of what to do with her, I’ll leave him to decide her fate.  So long as the children get to live happily ever after.

Tool (Death Incorporated)

That day? Yes I remember it, the day I realized why it is that I am a tool for Death to use.  A mere item for him to send off to do his work.  It was years ago, before I even met Death.  I was still living at home.  The ones I referred to as my parents were, as any other day, oblivious to my existence.  Research and progress in the ways of science were more important than my well being, but it was supposed to be that way, A necessary ignorance in order to allow them to train me, to make me who I am to become.

"thats not good enough" he would say. "you need to be more aggressive, don't give me an opening to make a counter" I was young, and not very strong.  Not that it mattered to him, everyday him and the other assistants to the house put me through training that would break your average soldier, and I was still in elementary.  I took up the sword, and lunged at him again, his form so elegant and pure it made me look like a rotten sack of shit.  That day was a bare knuckle day.  His fist drove into my cheek with the force of a hammer.

"get up! we're not done yet" all the time I had with him meant I had grown somewhat used to his pain, it was required for me to break the false sense of superiority I had, I had no superiority.  Never did, never will.  A tool like me has no need for such useless mindsets, he did well to extinguish the thought from my body and mind.  If it weren't for him and his team of assistants, the world as we know it today would be very different.

Whenever I was at school, nobody asked what happened to me, the way I looked it was like I had been thrown into a cement mixer filled with hammers.  Not even the teachers asked me about my injuries.  Makeup hid most of my failures from the world but not all of it.

People were miles away from me, even when they were inches away.  He did good to make them seem insignificant, yet.  So, desirable? I walked among them but not with them, like I was alienated from them but found them so fascinating I dare not intrude upon them.  Like I could very well spoil their humble lives.

"get up Mercedes, we are not finished, now come at me again!" My children's books were replaced with fighting manuals, time with 'friends' was time with firearms, vacations were replaced with sleepless treks through mountains and deserts across the world.  Dinner time was filled with mends to wounds I had been dealt.  There was one thing, however, that did not change.  In all my time with him, with them, one thing that stayed the way it was meant to be.

Dessert.

Whether it be a slice of the most delicious cake, a handful of the best cookies in the world, a wedge of the sweetest pie, dessert was one small thing in my life I did look forward to.  If I did good I was rewarded with the finest sweets they could make.  I guess, it was a form of motivation.  As I got older, the rewards got smaller, I started to work harder to get what was given.  Then the moment came that told me what I am.

"Your holding back, focus on me and strike me down!" I talked back to him.  I was upset, angry with him that he took my reward away bit my bit.  I lashed out at him in a fit of rage, and he came back at me with the most important thing he could have ever done for me.  He parried my pathetic strike, hit me with all of his strength.  So hard he broke some ribs and punctured a lung, but those were nothing compared to his finishing blow.

"Remember your place Mercedes, you are a tool.  The greatest tool to have ever been crafted in this universe. I have the privilege of making you that tool, even if I have to break you a few times to make it perfect!" with the sword he gave me, he drove it through my leg, causing irreparable damage.  That day, was the last day I walked on two legs.

The next day he came to me, standing behind what he said.  He handed me a cane, a heavy iron cane that has since disappeared.  I stared at that cane, feeling it.  Swung it around and took its overall measure.  It might as well have been a hammer.  Thats when I realized it.

I am a tool, nothing more than a tool used for the benefit of others, a support for much more than just my existence.  A column for all the world to weigh on and more.  I am not a person, I am a tool.  The greatest tool ever crafted.  I had been awakened, been reborn.

I had been shown my destiny.

I had been broken.

White Russian (Random)

Another day, another drink on this mahogany bar I've grown so used to.  The same scratch marks, the same glasses, hell even the teasing percussion on the back of my ears felt familiar from times past.  I'm sure if I had given it my audience I would have found it to be unrecognized.

I lifted my glass and finished the first drink of the night, my beloved white russian.  I gestured the bartender who gave me his nod, the same one he's given me since my first night here.  Seems like centuries since then.  "Another white russian please" his nod I'd grown so fond of gave segue to the birth of my next glass of the night.  Vodka and coffee liqueur danced together in a spiral towards the stage of shimmering glass, flowing with the grace that is appreciated by so few as it settled around the seats of ice.  Curtain call came with the cream, a billowing conclusion to my drink of choice.  The bartender settled the drink and placed his signature nod.  I drew the glass in, admiring the scent.

I felt so at peace in this moment, the constant pace of work gave little retreat into moments like this, it would be safer to say it was void of any silent happiness to the core.  The constant rearranging of rare, exotic machinery across the country was no easy task.

Enough of that, I'm in my world now.  Here to stay as long as I need.

"So, come here often?" I heard from behind me, a smooth and majestic query settled in the seat beside me, almost as if it were a light gust flowing by.  I looked, a slight turn of the head presented a figure of which I have never seen in person.  My attention ensnared I took a full view of the intensity that has taken interest in me.  Pearl skin wrapped in a silk of red I couldn't take my eyes off.  The one thing that was more breathtaking than the deep red were the eyes.  Eyes of glistening amethyst  framed in locks darker than the grim reapers cloak.  She was unlike anything I've ever seen before, I found it hard to even think that her upward inflected statement was directed at me, if her sight wasn't latched onto me I would have never answered her.

"Often? sometimes it feels like I never leave" after I said it, I wished I hadn't.  What a stupid thing to say.

"That sounds nice" velvet letters across my ears.  Did I say something right?

"It seems like I'm burdened to never see the same faces, feel the same familiar scratches in the bar.  The glasses, the crystal on the shelves.  I envy that" her fingernail played at the scars in the mahogany, scars I was familiar with.  Memory's prodded at the back of my mind.

"So, what are you having this go'round?" She gestured at my drink with a finger.  What did I get? How stupid am I.  Getting so lost like that, I must have looked ridiculous.  I made slow retreat to a more proper, upright posture.

"White russian, my usual" A smile sailed around her porcelain skin.  She leaned in, showing her interest.

"My personal favorite" her fingers interlaced "My personal sanctuary in a world of noise" She snapped her fingers, the bartender nodded.

"A white russian please, and put his on my check if you would" The bartender nodded, did she just pay for my drink? Confusion started to make root.  I'm nobody, a regular, a head in the clouds.  Yet, somehow this, which is something that could very well be from my wildest dreams is conversing with me.  I feel frustration blooming.

Am I dreaming? Or could it be that I've dipped into a dementia like state? I feel numb, but a wave of warmth overwhelms the back of my hand.  She touched me, her thumb massaging my knuckles, one after another.  She smiled at me.  A smile so comforting, so welcoming I couldn't help but crack a smile of my own. A genuine smile, not the kind I masquerade with.  She brought her drink up to view.

"A toast, to the drink of peace and solitude in a world of ambient noise and distraction" A toast.  Well, if this is in fact a dream or a joyful moment of dementia, I have no reason not to indulge in it.  I raise my glass, give it a gentle knock against hers, and we trade another smile.  Bigger than the last.

I feel again, the faded shirt on my back, the weight of the coat behind it.  The percussion teased my ears again, the radiating warmth of her hand still holding mine.  The pulsating healing warmth drew me out of the near dead state I had occupied for years now, a state of cynicism and reality I had grown used to seemed further away for a moment.

Please, stop time.  Even just for this moment.

Formal poems (Homework)

Rose of war (revision


Here I am standing in the center
Standing between lovers of combat and war
The tools of men’s hate that beg for no more
Than to make rupture that my heart cannot render
For in this place I am not a contender
Their armor and weapons that beg for much more
The blood in their hands is beginning to pour
Here I am standing in the center
The armor behind me is ready to fight
To take on the soldiers of hate
Thick armor plating to protect her today
The woman ahead is off in mid flight
To reel in the opposing forces like bait
Her weapon like body protects her this day

Madness

What is this thing we call madness really

Is it a thing for us to fear or to avoid hastily

What if its related to another of strong choice

A word with such immense power and poise

That its capable of corrupting almost equally

The word I’m talking about is of course is bravery

don’t you think it’s a close resemblance anyway

They both dig in and move you with choice

Madness is a choice of anger and hostility

Bravery is a decision of strength and sincerity

One of hate one of love such influencing voice

Warmth of blood or lovers hand it is your choice

Madness and bravery are one in the same equally

A waste of time and money?

So if you didn't know from my recent posts, I've been in a writing class.  Intro to creative writing 2250.  This class, is something that I've been trying to get into for the past 2+ years of school.  Its only a single class so it fills up really quick when registration comes around.  I was lucky to get a seat, or so I thought.

I just had mid-terms last week and at this point in the class, I don't like it.  Its not the classmates, most of them are tolerable.  The issue I'm having here is the content being taught and the teacher.  I'm going to say it, I don't like the teacher.  From the get-go I didn't.  In all the time I've had in the class she has not left a good impression on me.  But the biggest deal in the class for me is the content we're dealing with. Its a creative writing class and all the homework is disgustingly specific.  Homework A has to be done in this format and style or else its not acceptable.  Homework U must be completely broken down and rewritten in a format ranging from 1-5. Homework L has to be a formal poem down to the umpteenth degree.

Now I understand its important to see and try various forms of writing but I feel the class is limiting.  When everything has to be done in a specific way the creativity falls into a bottleneck.  Not a single piece of writing I've done for the class has had my full heart into it (exclude one or two maybe) I haven't been inspired at all in this class and my lack of interest is starting to impact my grade.  I took mid-term and didn't do so well, and I don't care that much.

I keep telling myself that this isn't something in my major (which is still undeclared) and that just makes me daydream the class away "Ok, a formal poem and last weeks assignment must be redone in a new style... great..." The teacher throws out the names of other writers and I'm sitting here thinking 'who the hell is that?'

Since starting college I haven't felt this frustrated with a class in a LONG time.  Pretty much my first batch of classes were a waste of my time and money as I took other classes I started to get better rounded in how the college life works, I've found teachers I like (one I hope to get into next semester for another round of psychology) teachers I hate (most of my auto shop teachers) and teachers that didn't wow me (intro to English)

Is this class a waste of time? maybe, maybe not.  Have I learned anything? not much that feels can improve me as a writer (a writer of fiction to be specific) cause thats what I wanted from this class.  Improvement, the ability to write something I have heart in, let my classmates tell me how it was and let me revise it.

I don't like this class.  I worked hard to get the seat I have and I no longer want it.  I had high expectations for this class, just to have it become a disappointment.

Safety and emissions

I've been asked questions about this before so i'll try to give a few pointers for how to prepare for this test.

The information I'm going over is related to the standards set by the state of Utah, every state is different so your mileage may vary.

A basic rule before getting your test done is to know whether or not you need the test at all.  in 2011 cars from 2010 to 2006 that are even numbered do not need a test, if its an odd year car you will need it. If your from out of state these standards are the same (you want utah plates you go by utah standards, likely the same for other states too)

call ahead of time to see when the best time to come in is.  its easy and beats waiting in line for excessive time.

Make sure you have proper paperwork with you at the time of the test.  You are required to have your current registration and insurance in your car at ALL times.  make sure to have these with you and easily accessible to whoever might need it.  If you just bought the car the title/bill of sale are acceptable to bring so long as your information is on it and its accurate 100%

A law in Utah is that inspectors are not allowed to tell you if your car 'fails' prior to the test. Its the law.  If your curious as to whether or not something might be rejected ask us what the law regarding that specific thing is. we can tell you the written law but we're not supposed to outright say "yeah that'll fail"

Before you take it to be tested stop and think if theres anything that might cause a rejection.  is that crack in the windshield too long? are your windows tinted too dark? what about your tires? from your knowledge of your car think about whats not working right, you might need to fix it.

Now you can go get tested. when you arrive it'll take (should) around 20 minutes to test it properly.  The older the car the more time it'll take.  schedule enough time so your not in a rush.

Be polite and respectful, it does you no good to cause a scene by screaming and yelling if your car is rejected.  remember your still in public.  make sure you understand what the problem is, we're here to help you. and remember you might have to go back.

If you feel your car has been rejected for an unjust reason, contact the Utah highway patrol.  They're in charge of the safety portion of the program and the emissions is controlled by the Salt lake valley health department (SLVHD) if you have questions or concerns let them know.

There are many places in Utah that can inspect cars.  Dealerships, some gas stations, jiffylube and its spin offs, and there are locations that only do safety and emissions.  And they all have different types of people and standards for what is inspected (although they all should be the same... their not)

jiffylubes (and likely their spinoff's) are not repair stations, they are inspection stations.  They cannot make major repairs on your vehicle. where as a dealership can.  so take into consideration who you go to for the inspection and whether or not you trust them.

Being an inspector I have seen many many MANY cars, yours is not special to me.

Every year (seriously) the rules change so if your car passes for something your aware of, don't be surprised if it doesn't pass next year, the more risque the more likely it is to be rejected.

If your car passes for something and fails the next year, remember we are all human.  it might have passed last year because the inspector was careless/forgot/didn't care/whatever.  report any concerns to their respective overseers

Your car/truck/motorcycle/RV is not exempt from anything in the safety and emissions program. Period. If its explicitly marked in our manual its liable to whatever standard is set.

Get your car inspected at the same place every year.  Build a (positive) reputation at your station of choice, don't go to new ones every year, you'll wish you didn't.

We understand some of you are curious about what happens during testing, the more you bother your inspector the longer it takes for the test to finish.  I personally hate it when people look over my shoulder. Be patient.

Building a relationship with your station is important, it allows you to better understand who it is your working with.  And their more likely to want to talk to you and help.

As an inspector I hate cars with little 'nuances'.  if it takes a group of scientists to open your door/roll down the windows/start the car. be aware that those might be grounds for rejection based on the severity.

Your car is your responsibility, you bought it you get to fix it. you are 1 out of potentially 20+ cars a day that get this test at a single station.

The month your car is due, is when its supposed to be done.  If its due in February, do it in February. Not March/July/November/January.  And the further you push the inspection to the end of the month, thats time lost to getting repairs done.  If you show up on the last day of the month and get rejected its YOUR fault.  Don't blame us for your procrastination.  If you do go over the month and get pulled over, show the officer your getting the work done, there is no guarantee he won't ticket you.

Take into consideration the condition of your car, not based on your standards.  everyone loves their car.  what you might see as your precious point A to point B car. is potentially the next pile of crap to be tested. cars are not created equal (especially when owners are added to the equation) your car might meet your expectations but your expectations are not the same as Utah's.

If you feel that a certain rejection is outrageous, take a moment to consider why it might be a rejection.  broken bumpers that stick out can cause injury to people walking by.  Battery braces keep your battery from causing fires or even exploding.  cracked windows obscure your line of sight.

Check engine lights/ service engine soon lights are a big deal.  If that little orange light is on, something potentially serious is wrong with your car.  the longer you drag it out, the worse it can become and therefore, more expensive to repair.

Many vehicles that come in are not ready for the emissions test (if your car is '96 and newer), that comes up on your paperwork as 'not ready' that means you have disconnected your battery or have battery issues and memory is not being kept in the cars computer.  Getting a car ready shouldn't be difficult if you follow the proper procedure.  all makes and models are not created equally when it comes to 'not ready' status.  Some are easy and many are not.  If you come up not ready call the dealership of your make.  Ask them for the "Manufacturers recommended drive cycles" doing this will optimize your chances of becoming ready by the time you return.  Keep in mind it may take more than one try.

Big expensive cars have big expensive repairs, end of story. things like oil changes and light bulbs turn into big deals the more you pay per month. Big brand names are big bucks every month.  that payment is not the only major expense you'll make with that car from gas to oil to wiperblades.

thats about it, if I remember something I'll add it later.  feel free to pass this information on to other people you know.

Rage (Homework)

My life is stressful.  Every moment of everyday.  At work is where I’ll focus cause that’s where the brunt of my stress happens.  Now I’m just a messenger, here to inform you.  You however, don’t see it that way.  What I do for work is inspect cars.  I go out of my way to look into every nook and cranny, every crevice and open space.  Any rubber pieces or rubbing metals.  This is what I do.
But the rules I work by are not of my own decision, if something is 2/32 out of spec its my job to make sure to tell you that this has to be fixed.  But instead of acting like civilized people who are respectful and understanding, they let out a form of rage equal to the power of the sun.
A white truck, just a small one.  The owner says its for his job, seems like a nice fellow.  I do my job and his turn out comes red.  I tell him of his windshield that is out of legal acceptance.  After five minutes of explaining that he has no choice but to fix it he refuses to pay.  I’m fed up by this time and allow my manager to deal with it.  Him and the customer walk out and view the situation.  I’m gone, working on other things.  After a minute I hear “Scott call the cops!” my heart races like I’ve stomped on the gas.  I whip my phone out and dial those three little numbers.  The cop appears “Pay them or come with me” lets just say he paid.
A family’s mini-van.  Dad brought it in to get its inspection.  He informs me that he has disengaged his horn cause his child has seizures or something like that.  A stupid move if you ask me, but I take it in stride.  If I decide to make him fix it he’ll just drive down the road, fix it and come right back.  I mark it in my notes and continue.  I sit in the car and almost fall into the backseat.  His seat is broken, and not in a simple way.  I mark him red for that and he leaves.  Time goes by and I have a phone call, its dad.  Talk about upset.  He thinks I’m a pushover, he doesn’t know me very well.  “I can’t afford to fix that!” he said “See if you can get a waiver from the highway patrol” I reply “I don’t think that’ll work!” “Then get it fixed” we repeat this process for a few minutes.  Me just sending him in circles and him getting even more mad with every lap we run.  He hangs up on me and I smile in victory, I haven’t seen him since.
An orange jeep.  Now this one I didn’t do personally but I was there for the storm it brought.  Daughters jeep needs smaller tires, she doesn’t really care.  Daddy however does, quite a bit.  He pulls into our lot like he’s in a race “Where is your inspector!!” he yells, making over exaggerated hand gestures.  Turns out his inspector is our manager, and he too has a short fuse.  Staying out of eyesight me and my colleagues listen in on the back and forth.  Daddy storms out to his car, arms flailing like he was on fire and our manager on his heels pointing his finger.  He probably wished it was a gun, I know I would “You people are outrageous bastards!!” Daddy yells out “You sir are out of control” manager yells back.  I don’t like our manager but its moments like this that made me glad he was around, makes things entertaining for the rest of us.
 A white jeep.  This one was pretty recent.  Surprise surprise, it’s another jeep with big tires.  This one also came over the phone.  “Those tires have been that way for over ten years and everyone has passed them!” he says with a stern and upset tone “Says here in the book its got to be dealt with” we go back and forth he wants me to pass his truck and I say no.  He hangs up and I never hear from him again.
It seems to me that people like to make me the bad guy, when in actual standing I’m not.  I’m here as a representative, a messenger.
I would like to apologize for protecting you from yourself, cause its all my fault.

Aisles (Homework)

I never thought I would’ve walked through a grocery store like that, or for what I was getting, or with what I had on me at the time.  Going to the grocery store should be like a micro celebration, gathering food and drink for the feast to come.  I preferred to do it with friends, that way I knew we would have a badass barbeque with bratwurst, steak, hamburgers and hotdogs all around.  But this adventure to the grocery store could very well be my last.
It all started last month, when a new prescription hit the market.  Promising everything under the sun.  What wasn’t expected was the result of those who were intolerant of what it brought.  I didn’t think it was something that would escalate to this level but obviously I am dead wrong.  More dead than the people.  Well, that would be wrong too.  Cause those who couldn’t handle the prescription died, they didn’t stay that way.  This felt way too much like something made just for a cheesy B-movie.
Back in the store I was what you could say, heavily armed.  As far as what a civilian with an average paycheck can get.  A semi-auto AK-47 and enough ammo to make a few days if I don’t get carried away.  Being from a former gun nut family sure has its benefits.
Lets see, there are 7 of us in our stronghold and 2 of us to carry as much as we can.  2 full shopping carts should be easy enough if we go one at a time.  My SUV should be good enough to hold our food and keep it safe for our duration here.
Back at the apartment, the rest of us were converting the floor into a fortress.  Since most people fled during the initial crisis we decided to wait it out.  A mistake? Perhaps, but we’re willing to ride it out till the military comes rolling through.  It’ll be hard for them to miss our SOS setup.  Since most of downtown had been turned into our playground we were able to make quite the vast alert and attention getting system.
But enough talk about that.  I looked at my best friend, he was ready.  We entered the grocery store fast but cautious, its condition was a little worse than we expected, but for the most part it looked to be in fair condition, we should be able to make out like bandits.  Non perishable food items first, taking the boxes that weren’t ruined in anyway.  Then to check the meats, the winter cold had kept them in a condition that looked safe, any sealed packages came with us.  Some stress essentials were also taken.  Beer, candy, snacks.  We took it all.  Well, everything that wasn’t ruined, spoiled, rotten, open, or molded.
That’s one cart down, I felt we should make our way back and begin the second lap.  A clash boomed from the far side of the store.  I pulled my gun up and looked around, the low light was very dangerous for us.  It was just my luck that flashlights were in the next aisle.  I snuck around and threw a flashlight together faster than ever. I tossed one to my friend and assembled another.  The sound of grunting and moaning was near, I started for the entrance.
During that moment I thought of the crisis from a month ago.  People running around unsure of what to do, liberals trying to demand someone else do something and the freeway cluttered to the point there was no movement, and that’s where the major death toll occurred.  The freeway is a place where people go to die right now, so many just shuffling around not knowing what to do.  The problem we have with where we set up our fortress, is that we’re surrounded by a looping freeway.  A wall of hundreds just waiting for us.  But like I said, we weren’t about to leave anytime soon.
The SUV was ready and waiting.  I opened the rear and we started throwing the food in the back, while keeping a keen eye out for our unwelcome guest.  Another crash from the store. I’m fed up by this time, I pulled my gun up to scan the dark for movement.  I never thought that juggling a flashlight and a full size rifle would be this hard, but its not important.  Another crash followed by moaning, our unwanted guest was not alone.

Vault (Homework)

Excitement in my mind is an understatement, ecstatic would be closer but no cigar.  To explain the way I feel would take more time than I had.  Dear brother was sitting there, looking bored.  It was time “Taran, give your uncle that present, right there” Taran picked up the present, or at least struggled to.  “Its heavy” his young voice wept as he hung the present low in his arms and threw it at my brother.  “Oof! Thanks a lot” He said, quoting the famous Christmas movie.  It was time, his look of shock and curiosity was making me even more excited.  He ripped the first side, then the second.  He looked at the unmarked box, unsure of what he was getting into, I knew all too well.  I started a minor hysterical laugh as I watched his face.  He pulled his knife out and severed the tape, success, he opened the right side.  “it’s a safe!!” I broke out in laughter as everyone in the room watched in surprise. “you like it? isn’t it awesome?” I asked.  “I didn’t expect you to actually get it” Our mom wasn’t too happy, this meant that her intrusions into his room would end up short.  “open it!” I said, he removed the safe from its box and took the keys out of the package.  He opened it and his eyes lit up, not only did he get the safe we talked about weeks ago.  It was pre-filled with the items he would use it for.  All of it stuff our mom would venture into his room for.  He was snickering, excited at the possibilities that await him and his new safe.  “this is awesome, thanks sister!” I knew he would like it, the extensive talk we had about how his stash would be pilfered pretty much everyday when he was away.  Now he can go to work with a clear mind that his munchies will be out of grubby hands.  As far as I’m concerned if there’s ever anything he has that I would like he would probably better appreciate that I’m asking him rather than taking it, so he’ll be more willing to share, with me at least.  This was a great idea for him, and me.

Check out my channel!

I'm kidding really, but I'm bored.  What your about to see it a list of people I'm subscribed to on Youtube and a short explanation on their videos. Enjoy.

Bethesda game studios
They helped make one of the games I've spent so much time on.  Many late nights spent searching underground passages and dismembering radiated monsters. Fallout 3 is absolutely one of my favorite games of all time. Bethesda hasn't posted in a long time so its really there for the sake of nothing (I'll probably un-sub from them soon since they haven't posted in months)

Blendtec
Will it blend? lets find out.  From ipads to facebook to vuvuzellas, they'll blend pretty much anything to show that their blenders are up to the task.

Cold Steel Knives
A company that makes some of the best multi-purpose knives ever! Watching their demonstrations its always fun.  Watching a knife small enough to hide in your hand shred a 10lbs set of ribs is awesome.

X
Suggested to me by the author of Subtle misdirection, X posts videos of himself playing games and commentates over the gameplay.

Dead space
The official channel for the game of the same name.  Another game studio responsible for another one of my favorite games.

Egoraptor
An animator that makes game parodies and other short animated clips.  Well known for making the 'Awesome' series of game parody videos on Newgrounds.

Exit13 productions
Not sure why I'm subscribed to this... you tell me.

Captain Sparklez
Like X, he commentates over gameplay, his content always entertains me.  Content ranging from college majors to comical innuendo.

Explosm entertainment
Like Egoraptor, and also famous on Newgrounds. He makes short animations of people doing insane things and making you feel better for not being like the people in his animations.

FreddieW
A film maker who puts out awesome action clips ranging from sky diving out of a house floating in the air to playing guitar on top of a moving car.

Harry Partridge
Another famous animator from Newgrounds, he makes outrageously funny clips of random stuff.  As random as The Justin Bieber show, Saturday morning Watchmen, to misheard lyrics.

Hupit gaming
Helping Unite Players Into Teams, a forum dedicated to bringing players together and posting gameplay commentary from their founders and top administrators.

Imperial Blackhawk
Another channel I'm not sure why I'm subbed to.

Improv everywhere
Seeing people randomly break out into song and dance in public is always fun, also well known for taking their pants off on subway rides.

Infinity ward
Another game developer, responsible for a franchise of games where some of my favorite game characters have come from.  They've been through a lot of legal issues lately and their looked down on for producing a multiplayer game that, while fun, was exploited for all its flaws till it became an example of what not to do.

Jacob13ailey
Who are these people and why do they show up in my sub box?

Know your meme
An internet research group that looks into the popular little things we come across on the interwebs. Things like The bed intruder song, Mudkips, and longcat.


Like totally awesome
Videogames, movies etc.  Reviews, news, interviews, talk on popular media.

Machinima/machinima respawn
All the news/reviews/trailers/gameplay/commentary/interviews/random crap you can handle. many of the channels I'm subscribed to come from Machinima.

Man in the box show
A series about a guy who works in an office and HATES his job.

Mr Weebl
Another famous person from Newgrounds.  You'll never see a more random animator thats so popular for being completely unpredictable for content.

Nutnfancy
A reviewer for guns/knives/tactical equipment some of what he's said has made an impact on me personally, but that goes as far as carrying flashlights and knives on me at all times.

Official MvC3
Marvel vs Capcom 3, another studio channel responsible for another game I'm quite fond of (been waiting for this one for 10 years!!)

ONLYUSEmeBLADE
A gameplay commentator that only uses the melee attack in games. In the call of duty series the melee is a knife.  Its a nice change of pace from seeing the normal gameplay.

ONS1AUGH7
Another gameplay commentator. He reviews his gameplay and shows you how to better your tactics in gaming.

RoosterTeeth
Famous for their well made Red vs Blue series made in the Halo game engine, they also produce hints and tips for games. Make random clips of themselves doing strange things. They also try converting our favorite elements of gaming to reality like third person driving and walking from the view of a sidescroller.

Screwattack
A game website that gives you everything you could ever want related to videogames. Similar to roosterteeth that they make videos of themselves doing strange things.

SeaNanners
A gameplay commentator and one of the most famous, if they made a bobble head of him it wouldn't bob as much as he does.  His smooth voice, interesting commentary, and singing keeps you tuned in and wont let you go.

Shadow9392
Better known as Obviously Jesus, he posts videos on philosophy.  A huge fan of Friedrich Nieziche he talks about things that make you want to be more true to yourself, while still having room to make outrageous videos of yelling and cursing. Another gameplay commentator, but thats not what you tune in for in his videos.

Shadowleggy
Resident evil parody animator from musicals to 'in a nutshell' explanations of games and movies. She's always entertaining.

Studio Hasai
A sleeper hit on Newgrounds, she's made a few entertaining animations on suicide and cooking. (She hasn't made anything new in a long time, but still posts art on Deviant art)

Tejbz
Another gameplay commentator, he got really popular for making a music video about gamers. (Not sure if I'm going to stay subbed to his channel, haven't been entertained too much in the past few videos)

Thinkgeek
A website that makes all the coolest stuff you could ever want, but would never need. They make clips of themselves using the products they sell.

Wheezy waiter
A video blogger with a cloning machine, a whale pit, an alligator pit, stretching arms, an awesome beard, explosions, an annoying eagle, coffee, news, handstands, and discontinuity. What more could you want.

Bitter (Homework)

I stood in my room, the lingering scent of dinner still present.  It was the smell of cheese, layered with a fine breast of chicken and so called chicken ‘flavored’ rice.  I could only hope it would be gone by my return.  Dear sister and I were charged with an order to play musical cars in front of the house.  Moving Mom’s car from the garage to the empty, snow filled space beside it.

I snatched my coat off the ground, my favorite one.  Big sleeves that didn’t scrunch at the end, I felt like I should have a weapon hidden in them, there was space for practically anything.  The gold accents were the single thing I was not fond of, a taste for silver was more my taste.  I slip on my pants and shoes and meet my sister at the front door, avoiding the bitter cold for as long as I could.  She walks up the stairs, ready to rearrange our drive way.

She stopped and leapt back downstairs, forgetting her keys.  I venture out into the dark, bitter night.  I take the first step out, the second coming up short.  I plant my foot on a patch of ice unseen in the dark and skip going down the steps of our porch in natural fashion.  My back and feet land first on ice and concrete, pain trembling throughout my body.  I curse and grunt as I attempt to get back up, my fingers fail to find a surface to hold, slipping on what might as well have been wet glass.

Sister steps out and I halt her advance, giving warning to the danger of the path.  She asks me of my condition, I curse again and continue towards our mission.  She opened the garage and I grab a snow shovel, I need to clear a path for the fence to go.  Sister starts the cars and sets them on the road.  I finish relocating the snow.  I take a deep breath and look skyward, the haze and fog that came with winter made the sky harder to see, like looking through foggy glass.

I take position in the first car, sliding across the cold seat, yelping when my coat fails to take the brunt of the chill and it runs its icy fingers across my back.  The car starts and I carefully eye my sister gestures to guide me into the narrow space.  A little to the right, a little more.  Woah! Too much, wait never mind that’s good.  Her words muffled by glass.

I open the door and shuffle out, she asks me if her assistance is still needed.  Considering the most difficult part is over I figure she can go back into the warmth of the house.  I take the mission solo and finish setting the cars up in proper order.  I tread carefully across the porch steps and return to my room.  The scent of dinner long gone.

Me and Myselves (Bleeding Rose)

The wind was cold, blowing through my night shirt and over my bare legs. The hard wood floor was chilled too.

"Where is she?" Muffled voices said.

"There, outside!" one voice said in a panic. Then it donned on me, why am I not in my bed? The door opened and the screen was thrown to the side and I got groped from every possible angle while being dragged into unfamiliar territory. Before I was consumed by the house and its residents I got a good clear look at the outside, something is very wrong.  A few feet past the wooden steps of the house is some sort of drop off like a cliff.  Beyond the cliff in the far distance I could see that we were in a domed structure of some sort.  The walls were made up of cages and rotating gears, making a mild grinding sound in the atmosphere.  A bright light was shining down making the outside look rusty orange and grey, but I didn't see the light source before getting grabbed.

I slid across a tile floor and many of the hands released me, the remaining hands pulled me up to the ceiling but stopping just in time, I was planted on the ground, standing.  I'm confused, and scared, and lost, if I kept this up I wouldn't be able to stop. I was feeling many things right now, most of them I've never felt before, or to this magnitude.

"Are you okay?" someone behind me said.  I got a good clear look at those who had grabbed me. It was me... or me's, myselves? They were spitting images of me, but different, some had different hair styles, some had glasses in different frames, some happy while others not so much.  Whats going on? Am I dreaming or has my mind shut down from the stress of everything.

"Leader are you alright?" I was asked again.

"Leader?" I looked for the one asking and she was happy to let herself be found.

"Who, are you?" I asked.

"I'm Extroverted" I tilted my head to the side like a confused dog, I was too late to keep myself from doing such a odd thing.

"I... don't understand" I said.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, of course you wouldn't" she held her arms out as if to present the other me's.

"We are the aspects of yourself you have yet to conquer. I guess you could say we're your personalities. I'm your extroverted personality, but you can call me E" E went around the room and introduced me to myself. Angst, Introvert, Saucy, many aspects of my personality.

"Everyone! Stoic is playing right now, c'mon" the girls vacated the kitchen and went to the living room.  One of MooK's selves was playing a videogame of some sort.

"What is this E?"

"Thats you she's playing"

"Uh,"

"Oh! sorry again, what Stoic is doing is playing you, your physical body. Take a closer look" I shuffled through the group of me's towards the TV and got a good look at Stoic.  She had her hair braided and she had an expression a statue would have trouble keeping up with.  I looked at the TV.  The morning light that occupied the hospital made waking up at six for training so worth it. But Stoic wasn't at training, she was with other people.  It was Anna and Tesla, we're eating breakfast.

"Why, Why is she in control?"

"Because, well... your away at the moment, here with us.

"Why am I here though, what purpose does this serve?" Extroverted looked around the room until she found who she was looking for.  Me in what looked like a college professors outfit.

"Well, Philosopher?"

"I dunno, maybe she's here in order to understand an aspect of who she is, an angle of her personality she's been unable to tap into" A part of myself?

"Well in that case we should show you around the house" Extroverted wrapped her arms around mine and she took me on a tour of this house.  I was introduced to a few more me's.  Pervert, Tsundere whatever that means, and Jolly stood out the most.  From what I could tell, the house is big, it would be more appropriate to call it a mansion  for its sheer size.  Most of the rooms were similar, however, they were occupied by me's of very different types so they were all pretty unique in what each room was filled with.

"Isn't this place just so great, everyone gets along so well its nice to be able to see you too, like I'm seeing a friend I haven't seen in years" E said.

"Whats downstairs?" all activity nearby came to a halt as they looked at me.  Shy came up to me, fidgeting with a scarf around her neck.

"Uh... we, we don't go down there. Thats where the bad ones are"

"She's right Leader, we worked together to get all the crazies out of here so we wouldn't go mad from having them around.  Once we got them in there we barricaded the door so they couldn't get out but" Extroverted looked concerned.

"They can play from inside there too, we're safe but you aren't, those you love out there are in danger still" E was concerned.  I don't know what to do now.  I want to look outside again see that dome we're in.  We're on the second floor and I think I saw a balcony nearby.  I opened the door and looked out onto the shell. it looked the same as before. My personalities were watching me from the safety of the house.

"What in the world is that thing?" Nobody wanted to answer, E stepped up but cautious.

"We're, not sure MooK. Philosopher won't say anything to us about it either" I wanted to see the sun, or rather the source of light above us, but no matter where I stood I couldn't see it.

"Wheres the sun, what or where is that light coming from?" I said, getting anxious.

"We don't know, there is nowhere in the house that allows us to see it directly" E said.

"Thats insane" I walked downstairs to the porch.  The drop off at the edge of it was serious.  A straight down drop into oblivion.  I was careful to turn around, I still couldn't see the sun, like it had rolled back behind the house.  E and some others charged out and flung me back in the house.

"You can't go out there Leader"

"Stop calling me that, my name is MooK"

"Stay away from the fall, we don't know what happens if you fall over the edge" E said.

"Has anyone, jumped?" I asked, not sure whether knowing was a good idea.

"Just one.  But thats all we can tell you"

"Everyone inside, Leader take a look at the TV" One of me said. I ran in and watched the TV.

"Looks like its time for you to go, MooK" Extroverted said. Stoic looked at me from the floor, the most I've seen her move since I got here.  She held the game paddle to me.

"What about you guys?" I said.

"We'll be fine, just watch out for yourself okay?" I looked down at Stoic, her unchanged expression and posture still offered me the game paddle. I took hold of it and sat down at the table a little further away. Philosopher looked at me.

"MooK, MooK!"

"Hey MooK" Anna said to me, circling her straw in her drink. Tesla as per the usual messaged people over her phone.

"You feeling okay? You've been quiet all morning" Anna said.

"I'm fine, really I"m just daydreaming I guess" It was the best thing I could think of at the moment.

"Must have been a hell of a dream, lets finish lunch and get you a new outfit, borrowing Tesla's clothes has got to be irritating" Tesla looked up from her phone.

"Are you saying that I have bad taste?"

"I'm just making a clear statement that your fashion does not extend past your own physical appearance" Anna and Tesla started back and forth but I couldn't get past a few things. How did I get here? I remember going to bed but how did I get all the way here? And what was that dream I had? It was so bizarre I can't even remember it.