9:00 in the morning, why the hell did she ask for me to come out here? I'm still shaken up from yesterday and she wants to talk. She's late too. Not even a message saying "I'll be there soon".
"Did you wait long?" I turned around, she stood there with a distraught look on her face. I shouldn't be mad at her. I should've known, somehow. Resembles look like the real thing, feel like the real thing.
"N-no, just a few minutes" I said. She diverted her eyes, her glance directed mine towards her now fixed Resemble. I still saw a ragged mess of wire and metal that was left of her arm from just yesterday
"Can I sit down?" I was taking up most of the bench, I moved over and she sat next to me. Her Resemble side away from me.
"What did you want to talk about" I said, gambling that she wouldn't get upset with me. She didn't look at me, instead she rested her head on my shoulder. I rested my arm on the back of the park bench, best if I didn't touch her on that side.
"Take a guess"
"You have Resemble" I said.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"I heard on the news"
"I don't care what the news says, I asked for your opinion" she got tense.
"I... don't know for certain" I said, unsure of what to say.
"Is it so bad that we make ourselves this way? Should we be looked down on for our decision?" She looked up at me, I could tell now. Resemble was in her eyes as well, twisting and focusing on me like two little cameras.
"Without this I would be different, very different. Like laying lifeless in my room, thinking of how that accident destroyed my life kind of different. We would've never met if it wasn't for Resemble" She said, the end emphasized and her Resemble hand held to me.
"So you could never have lived again if it weren't for this?" I said.
"Does that make me a weak person then? That I have to lean on science to make living worthwhile? If I didn't have this yesterday, I would be dead right now. I would have died saving you" Her voice got loud and she leaned away from me.
"Say I didn't have Resemble, I would have either been dead or been given Resemble to save my life. I could lie on the ground where I landed, bleeding to death. Or a hospital bed dying. How would you feel if that were the case? So what I have Resemble, is it that big a deal?" She put her hand over mine looking me dead in the eyes.
People with Resemble have it because they want to look normal again, to feel normal again..They don't want to walk down the street having people look at them. Watch them live from wheelchairs or with missing limbs or eye patches or even speech impediments. Resemble fixes all that. If I had met her without them would I feel the same way about her? I hadn't said anything, her eyes started to well up with tears.
"Well!?" she said, pressing the question.
"How would you feel knowing that I put myself in harms way to protect you, knowing you could've been be hurt or killed?" She clenched my hand tight, trembling.
"It should have been me! To think that you would do something like that for me, of all people. I'm not worth your time or effort for saving" My voice cracked just a little "I thought you were dead on impact, I heard your body crumble and your arm spiral away" My chest collapsed, It felt like metric tons were weighing on my shoulders. I trembled along with her.
"I started thinking of why I asked you out, who was I to take that opportunity away from someone better suited for you. If I had kept my mouth shut you would still be in one piece right now, with someone better than me. I'm such a selfish fuck!" My breathing became short and rapid, face was hot and my palms drenched in sweat, thousands of thoughts and feelings had broken through me like a blown out river dam.
"You're such a thoughtless asshole!" she said "Didn't ever cross your mind why I might do something like that for you because I wanted to?" I couldn't be possible. Someone like her feeling that way about me? Nobody has ever felt that way about me, and I'm supposed to just believe it now? She still held my hand, though instead of being tight and assertive. It was kind, gentle. Appealing even.
I've never felt this before in my entire life. What do I do? Will she say what I think she's gonna say? Is that even possible? As far as I was concerned the possibility of this moment ever happening died in me a long time ago. What about me? Do I even have it in me to think about someone else like that? asking her out in the first place was an accident, I didn't even think she would accept like she did. Surprised and excited. Is the ability to feel like that even in my DNA? This can't be real, this can't be real, this can't.
Be real.
